Autism and Family Planning: How Many Children Should Autistic Parents Have?
Family planning is a deeply personal decision that involves numerous considerations. For individuals with high-functioning autism, family planning can be particularly complex, leading to various opinions and discussions. The key question many ask is: “How many children should people with high-functioning autism have?”
Autism and Personal Choice
While many argue that the number of children should be based on personal choice and capacity, societal and familial pressures can influence this decision. Some individuals with high-functioning autism, like the author, share that they have chosen to have a specific number of children. For instance, the author mentions, 'I have one daughter. She's not on the spectrum,' indicating that family composition does not necessarily correlate with autism status.
There is a strong emphasis on the belief that any number of children can be viable, as long as they can be responsibly raised. Many autistic parents point out that their needs and capacities due to autism are just as much a factor as those of neurotypical individuals. The author, for instance, states, 'My needs and capacities due to my autism are factors in that consideration—but they are factors in the exact same way that needs and capacities of neurotypical people are factors of their respective family considerations.'
Personal Experiences Share Insights
Personal experiences vary widely among autistic parents. The author mentions having two neurologically divergent children, both high achieving and contributing to the economy, their communities, and families. Their academic success and economic contributions are highlighted to emphasize that being autistic does not impede one's ability to contribute positively to society. They also advocate for the right of individuals with autism to determine how many children they can responsibly raise, stating, 'I have the right as any adult to determine how many children I have neither you nor anyone else has the right to imply that I am not capable of being an adequate parent just because I am neurologically different from 90 of the population. There is no 'should'.'
Unique Considerations in Family Planning
It is important to recognize that each individual, whether autistic or neurotypical, faces unique challenges and opportunities when making decisions about family planning. Many autistic parents carefully consider their situation and decide not to have children or to foster short term. The author emphasizes this point, noting that 'Most autistics I know think very carefully about that with a number choosing not to have children or to foster short term.' They further underscore that it is impossible to define a set number of children for any autistic person since each individual is unique.
Customizing Family Plans for Autistic Individuals
The approach to family planning for individuals with autism is highly individualized. The author provides examples of different choices that can be made: 'Some people may not want kids at all. Great. Some people may want one kid to focus on. Great. Some people may chose 2 or 3 kids so kids have playmates. Great. Some people may have multiple kids. Great. Some people may adopt or foster. Fantastic we need more great foster parents.' These various choices reflect the unique lifestyles and choices of autistic individuals.
Ultimately, the decision of how many children autistic individuals should have is a deeply personal one that must be made based on individual needs and capacities. It is not appropriate to impose a one-size-fits-all approach, as each person's situation is unique. The author concludes by suggesting that the same logic applied to neurotypical individuals should be extended to autistic individuals: 'If I asked you “how many kids should a neurotypical person have” you would probably understand that all people have their own wants and capabilities. It’s the same for autistic people.'