Why Don't Brits Greet Each Other with Kisses While the French Adore It?

Britain often prides itself on its reserved and traditional values. The idea of greeting a stranger with a kiss on the cheek, as seen in continental Europe, is considered quite eccentric by many. However, this difference in etiquette is not merely a result of personal preferences but reflects deeper cultural roots.

Cultural Traditions

Historically, a handshake was the traditional way to prove one's peaceful intent. In the days of swords and duels, a firm handshake signified that no weapon was hidden. Similarly, a nod or bow was the respectful greeting for a female, as seen in the Downton Abbey. These gestures communicate honesty and respect without the need for physical touch. Nowadays, in the age of viruses such as Covid-19, a physical touch is often looked upon with suspicion.

Etiquette and Behavior

Behavioural customs tend to be deeply ingrained. Traditional perspectives often seem to resist change over the long term. In the case of Britain, the idea of grown men kissing each other is still quite foreign. It's worth noting that in the past, any display of campness would have been heavily frowned upon, possibly treating such displays with the same disdain that some Europeans now apply to British reserve.

The culture of not being overly touchy-feely is also prevalent among other Nordic countries. For instance, during my year in Switzerland, I was surprised to observe how much handshakes were a part of daily interactions. While the Swiss frequently greeted each other with a firm handshake, in Britain, such physical contact, except between close family members, is still seen as somewhat inappropriate.

Roots of British Etiquette

Brits generally maintain a decorum rooted in historic mores, such as the buttoned-up Victorian era. During this period, rigid social rules dictated how people should behave in polite society. These traditions have persisted, shaping modern British etiquette. It's not unusual, and perhaps even expected, for British men to maintain a level of formality in their greetings, even in casual settings.

The cultural divide between the British and French is stark. While the French often greet each other with a kiss on the cheek, this gesture is rare among British men. However, Brits are comfortable with physical contact in certain contexts. For example, close female relatives and friends are embraced, but men tend to stick to handshakes, even for business acquaintances.

Conclusion

The differences in greeting customs between the British and French reflect a spectrum of cultural and historical influences. What is considered appropriate in one society may seem quaint or even bizarre in another. While the British maintain a reserved demeanor, the French are known for their warmth and directness. As the world becomes more connected, these cultural differences may evolve, but for now, they provide a fascinating glimpse into the traditions that shape modern societies.