Navigating Friendship Dynamics: Tips for Dealing with Argumentative Best Friends

Asking yourself, 'I feel like my best friend is always trying to find a reason to argue with me. It's getting so draining. Any advice?' is a common concern among long-term friends. Dealing with an argumentative best friend can indeed be challenging, but there are strategies that can help you manage the situation and maintain your health and well-being.

Understanding the Dynamics of Argumentative Friends

It's important to remember that it takes two to argue. If you find yourself in a situation where your best friend seems overly argumentative, consider first evaluating your own behaviors and see if there are any triggers that might be causing this dynamic.

Ask Open Questions: Instead of joining in the argument, ask your best friend why he feels the need to be so argumentative all the time. This approach might reveal underlying issues or conflicts that you were previously unaware of. Being understanding and supportive can go a long way in helping your friend address his feelings.

Setting Boundaries and Maintaining Your Balance

Change the Subject or Walk Away: When your friend starts to engage in argumentative behavior, your response can set the tone for the interaction. Choose to change the subject or walk away. Avoid engaging further in a discussion that is harming your emotional well-being.

Call It Out Gently: If the argumentative behavior continues, gently address it. Say something like, 'I noticed you've been really argumentative lately. I want to check if everything is okay between us.' If your friend denies there is a problem, make it clear that you are stepping away to focus on your own tasks or errands, leaving the area decisively.

Communicating Clarity and Seek Support

Seek Clarification: Sometimes, the only way to understand the root of the issue is to ask for it. Repeat the question to your friend and inquire about specific things. This can help in establishing clarity and may reveal underlying causes. Encourage your friend to express their feelings and why they are acting this way.

Express Your Feelings: Sharing your thoughts and feelings with your friend, especially when they are your best friend, can be a worthwhile step. It might also provide an opportunity to discuss any issues and work towards a resolution. Be prepared for possible hurtful or confusing answers, but remain supportive and understanding.

Final Steps: Addressing the Issue

Write It Down: If verbal communication does not yield the desired outcome, consider writing your friend a letter or email. Outlining your feelings and concerns in a written format can be a powerful tool for starting open and honest communication. Ensure that your message is clear and direct yet respectful.

Reevaluate Your Friendship: If, after all these steps, your friend continues their argumentative behavior and it's becoming too draining, it might be time to reevaluate the friendship. True friends uplift and support one another. If your friend's behavior is detrimental to your emotional and mental health, it's essential to focus on your well-being and potentially move on to a healthier relationship.

Thank you for asking about this, Misty. As you are best friends, it's worth taking the effort to clear the air and rescue a valuable friendship. With every good wish, Barrie.

Tips Recap:

Ask open questions to understand your friend's feelings Change the subject or walk away from arguments Gently call your friend out on behavior Seek clarification and express your feelings Consider writing a letter or email for clarity Evaluate the friendship if necessary and focus on your well-being

By following these steps, you can navigate challenging friendship dynamics and find a resolution that benefits both of you.