Navigating Relations with Relatives Who Don’t Understand Me: An INFJ Perspective

An INFJ is deeply introspective and often struggles to be fully understood by those around them. This article explores strategies for dealing with such situations, drawing from personal experiences and insights from the perspective of an INFJ on their journey to independence.

I, like many other INFJs, have faced the challenge of being misunderstood by my family and relatives. However, I have also learned valuable lessons along the way, and I am eager to share my journey and tips for those in a similar situation.

Understanding the Challenge

The struggle to be understood can be particularly challenging in family dynamics. As an INFJ, I have spent a lifetime trying to explain and bridge the gap between my points of view and those of others. While I strive for understanding, I also face the difficulty of others not being able to see where I am coming from.

My Journey: From Rented Room to Home

I have been living independently since I was 17 and am now 26 years old. My life since then has been a testament to the determination and hard work that comes with living autonomously. With the support of my wife, I have built my career from scratch, moving through various stages of financial growth, starting with a tiny rented room and ending up with a 3-bedroom house.

My path to independence has been both rewarding and challenging. While my family has provided emotional support for my decisions, they often struggle to see the reasoning behind them. Moving to a different city at 17 for more job opportunities is just one example of the challenges I faced. Over the years, I have encountered many more situations where family members have made a big deal out of small things.

Work-Life Balance and Communication

The intense focus required for my work and the need to maintain a strict schedule can make it difficult to spend time with family. I work 10 hours a day and sleep 8 hours, leaving just 2 hours in between for me. While these 2 hours are essential for me to maintain my focus and avoid burnout, they are also perceived as a barrier by my family members.

On countless occasions, I have tried to explain the reasons behind my busyness and the necessity of setting boundaries. However, my family members often misinterpret this as a change in character or a lack of interest in them. This misunderstanding can lead to unnecessary tension and hurt feelings.

Strategies for Understanding and Communication

To deal with these challenges, it is essential to focus on improving communication and understanding. Here are some strategies that can help:

Set Clear Boundaries: Be proactive in setting clear boundaries and explaining why they are necessary. This can help your family members understand the importance of your personal space and schedule. Provide Context: Whenever possible, provide context for your actions. Explain the reasons behind your decisions and how they fit into your overall goals and plans. Weave in Emotional Support: Remember that emotional support is crucial. While you may need time away, make sure to communicate that you care about your family and value their support. Seek Understanding: Be open to their perspectives and try to understand where they are coming from. This can help build bridges and foster better communication.

Personal Reflection and Growth

Throughout my journey, I have come to accept that different people see the world in different ways. While my family and relatives may not fully understand my point of view, this does not diminish the value of my work or my relationships. I am proud of what I have built and the steps I have taken to achieve financial stability.

It is important to respect each other's differences and communicate openly. By working towards mutual understanding and respect, we can navigate the complexities of family dynamics more effectively.

As I continue on my path, I remain open to feedback, willing to learn from mistakes, and committed to improving my relationships. I hope that by sharing my experiences, I can offer some guidance to others who may be navigating similar challenges.