Support During Childbirth: Real Stories and Insights from My Experience

Childbirth, a thrilling yet challenging journey, can be made easier with the right support. Whether in a hospital or at home, the people around you play a crucial role. Here, I share personal accounts from my seven births, two of which were miscarriages, and discuss how they were helped by my partner and family.

Miscarriages

Both of my miscarriages occurred at home, marking the start of a different kind of journey. In the first miscarriage, it happened rather unexpectedly, with the pregnancy not forming a baby. It was considered 'medical waste' and disposed of by the hospital. In the second miscarriage, the process was a little more challenging. We sought help from a midwife friend who assisted in extracting the embryo and providing emotional support.

Midwife's Role

Our midwife friend played a significant role in both miscarriages. She helped us document the process by collecting and sorting the clots and finding the embryo. After processing the embryo, we decorated a little box and buried it in the backyard. Choosing to handle the tragic news privately, we alleviated the burden of hospital visits and unnecessary medical procedures.

Homebirths

My homebirths provided me with a more intimate and personal experience. Here, I detail the support and assistance provided by my partner and family during these births:

First Homebirth

During my first homebirth, my mom, a visiting family member, was present. My partner was busy with his work, and the situation was hectic. Despite the challenges, there were multiple people around me, with my oldest son helping out. He did not provide a good backrub but was essential in capturing moments through pictures and notes. My mom held my leg during contractions, while my client provided low back counterpressure, and we used hot compresses for comfort.

Second Homebirth

The second homebirth was chaotic, with a staff meeting planned. My partner took care of my young son, while I was left with an almost two-year-old, eager to nurse. This lasted until I realized it was the start of my labor. My neighbor with her three-year-old came to help, but we were already in the second stage of labor. My water broke in the restroom, and I was close to the meeting. However, my neighbor caught my baby just as people started to arrive. We quickly got everything done and managed to make the staff meeting despite the delay.

Childbirth Support and Roles

During the third homebirth, I ensured it was less chaotic. Labor started in the evening, and I involved the children. My older son, now a grown adult, took on several roles, including timing, note-taking, cord cutting, and photography. He even turned out to be a skilled photographer, and his and his sister's pictures are cherished.

Reflections on Particular Assistants

From backrubbers to photographers, each member of my birth team played a vital role in ensuring a smoother experience. My partner was crucial in catching the babies and handling the logistics, while my daughters and sons provided emotional support and documentation. Backrubbers, although appreciated, were not the backbone of the support system. Instead, their presence was exciting and comforting, contributing to the overall experience.

Conclusion

Childbirth is a deeply personal experience, and having the right support can significantly enhance the journey. From my experiences, I have learned that diverse support roles, from photography to practical assistance, play a significant part in making the experience a bit better. Whether it's a professional team or a trusted family member, the key is to find those who understand and can provide the necessary care and comfort.