The Obsession of Narcissists with Concealing Their Real Age
Every individual with Personality Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (PDNOS) that I have known has a very difficult time dealing with the aging process. Some of them go to great lengths to look younger, striving to maintain a facade that belies their true age. They hate the idea of growing old and running out of time because they all feel like they haven't started living yet. In ways, they are absolutely correct.
Why They Conceal Their Real Age
Perhaps the wrong question. But the right reason.
Concealing their true age is just one aspect of the pervasive need for control that plagues individuals with narcissistic traits. A narcissist hides everything—age, appearance, and often their true thoughts and feelings. Sad, indeed. It's as if they're closing books and ending chapters, never allowing the world to see what lies behind the carefully constructed facade they present.
Strategic Deception
My former narcissist partner appeared younger than he was and used this to his advantage to seek out and date younger partners who may not have the knowledge or experience to spot a narcissist or to navigate a relationship with one. At 52, he looked 38, and his good looks undoubtedly played a significant role in his success. This is just one example of the strategic lie that helps them maintain control and exploit their targets.
Fear of Mortality
There may be many reasons behind their desire to conceal their real age, but one of the primary reasons is their fear of death. Death represents the ultimate loss of control, a concept that drives their fear. Without control, they feel insecure and threatened. This fear of death plays a significant role in their obsession with maintaining a youthful appearance and delaying the inevitable.
The Art of Deception
They lie about anything that could challenge their image or make them look bad. They are vain and fear losing their appearance and growing old. For them, aging is a more serious matter than for the average person. They will do whatever it takes to hold onto their youth, including lying.
Personalities with narcissistic traits are programmed to lie when it gets them what they want. Shaving or adding a few years to their age is just one of many lies they might tell. My ex-partner, despite having an abundance of external beauty, was not a fan of aging, even if it meant compromising on honesty.
Final Thoughts
Their lies are not just about age but about any aspect of their lives that could be perceived as a weakness or vulnerability. Lying is their strategy to maintain control, protect their image, and deceive others. Understanding this can help us navigate relationships and conversations with people who have narcissistic traits more effectively.
For more insights into narcissistic behaviors, visit our Insights on Narcissists page.