What Do Autistic Men Really Look for in a Partner?

Dispelling Myths About Autistic Relationships

It is commonly misunderstood that autistic individuals are only interested in forming relationships with others who share their neurotype. However, this belief is nothing more than a myth. Autism is just one aspect of an individual's personhood, and it does not define their romantic or personal preferences. Just as anyone else, autistic men are likely to value affection and the right chemistry in a partner. Whether you have a disability or not, seeking a compatible connection is a fundamental human desire.

The idea that an autistic man or woman would only want a partner who is also autistic is a misconception. For example, an autistic man might find a partner who they believe can help them improve their living situation or overcome financial challenges, just like anyone seeking a partner who can provide support in a difficult situation. This is not unique to neurodiverse individuals; relationships are often built on practical needs and shared goals.

Key Traits Sought in a Partner

When it comes to what autistic men look for in a partner, the desire for a connection that feels genuine and authentic is paramount. Autistic individuals, particularly men, often value:

Freedom from Bullshit: Autistic individuals can find social interactions challenging, often due to the complexity and unpredictability of neurotypical social cues. Therefore, they appreciate a partner who is honest, direct, and free from unnecessary social games or role-playing behaviors. This means that both parties can communicate openly without the fear of misinterpreting each other's intentions or signals. Right Chemistry: Similar to anyone else, an emotional and intellectual connection is essential. Shared interests, values, and mutual understanding are key factors in building a strong and lasting relationship. This connection can be rooted in shared hobbies, experiences, or simple moments of mutual understanding and support. Patience and Understanding: Given the intricacies of communication and social interactions for individuals on the autism spectrum, a partner who is patient and empathetic is invaluable. This partner can offer the necessary support and understanding to navigate through the challenges of daily life and relationships.

Importance of Neurodiversity in Relationships

Autism is just one part of an individual, and it does not define their worth or the quality of potential relationships. Embracing neurodiversity means recognizing that every individual, regardless of their neurotype, has unique strengths and needs. It is important to approach romantic relationships with an attitude of affirmation and celebration of differences rather than a restrictive lens.

Denying the existence of autistic men seeking non-autistic partners is a form of neurotypical privilege and misunderstanding. Just as it would be inappropriate to suggest that people of a certain race should only be with others of the same race, it is equally invalid to claim that relationships between autistic individuals and neurotypical individuals are any less valid or worthy of recognition.

The intersection of neurodiversity with romantic relationships should be viewed as a celebration of the diverse ways in which people can connect and form meaningful bonds. Embracing these connections without judgment or bias can lead to more supportive and fulfilling partnerships for everyone involved.